Hicham El Ouahabi | As a first-generation student, you have to figure things out yourself
Columnist Hicham is the first in his family to study. “There is no lack of support and pride from home. On the other hand, you have to be able to deal with the fact that they can never fully empathise with your student life.”
I am a first-generation student. A term I was not aware of for a long time. Being the first in your immediate family to venture into something new, to pioneer, is something I have done all my life, in numerous fields.
The first to play a specific sport, go on study tours, become politically active and do a board year, for example. That you are then also the first to study, you – paradoxically – take so much for granted that the existence of a specific term for this completely escapes you. This is true, I think, for many first-generation students.
In being the first to invent the wheel, there is also another obviousness: the obviousness of being completely on your own. There is no guidance from home, no one to show you the way. But then that also feels normal, because you don’t know any better. It’s me, myself and I.
There is no lack of support and pride from home. On the other hand, you have to be able to deal with the fact that they can never fully empathize with your student life, because it is outside their own experience. This applies equally to university, usually populated by teachers and students whose parents or relatives did study. There too, you have to be able to deal with the fact that they can never fully empathize with your situation. That is my reality: living between two worlds that care about you, but can never really know and feel what you are going through.
I would be lying if I said that sometimes it doesn’t feel lonely. But I would also be lying if I said that it keeps me awake. Understanding, affirmation or empathy from others is not necessary to be who you are. It’s about understanding your own journey and becoming aware of your own place in it. Because from that awareness, both worlds can be connected. That is where the power of pioneering lies: embracing the unknown and illuminating paths for those who come after us.
