How faith connects, even if you don’t believe (anymore)
The number of religious Dutch is consistently declining. Yet some UvA students are finding connection in a house of worship, even if they aren’t believers. ‘You get to know people in a different way.’
With turban on, shoes off, and sitting cross-legged, Kirti Singh (24) drinks chai-tea with the custodians of the Sikh temple on Baarsjesweg. The master’s student in Logic explains: ‘When you go to a Sikh temple, you invariably donate some food to the temple custodians for the other temple-goers. And you can always sit down with the temple caretakers for a karah parshad (a whole-grain sweet, ed.). It really is a religion for the community.’
That’s also how Michiel Winckler (24), a math and philosophy student, experiences it. One Sunday morning in the University Library, he thought to himself, ‘I’d like to go to church sometime.’ So he haphazardly crossed the Singel to the nearest church that was open: the Mennonite Church, a Protestant church where you are not baptized until you are an adult. Besides the conversations with the community after the service, he could also use the free cup of coffee. ‘I do just drink a lot of coffee in a day.’
Since then, Winckler also regularly brings friends from his university union to be introduced to the church community. ‘Actually, everyone in my group of friends always likes it in a different way. For example, I am a fan of Bach on the organ, but one friend especially loves singing together.’
Social codes
PhD-researcher Ronit Palache observed how a religious group can indeed connect. Palache researches faith leavers within Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. She also recently created a podcast series on faith and community leavers with writer Lale Gül. Palache says: ‘The religious, but also social codes of a community can provide connection. The rules, customs, and traditions are mutually clear and don’t need explaining to that group.’
Winckler also engaged in conversations within the Mennonite community. ‘You really get to know the people in the church. Through the service, you talk about topics you normally wouldn’t bring up on your own. It’s also fortunately not one of those ‘Hallelujah’ communities with those music-making families with mediocre voices. The church has a somewhat more intellectual approach.’
Being different
Apart from seeing yourself as part of a group, however, how others see you is also important, Palache notes. ‘Many people who feel they belong to the Jewish people, for example, are not necessarily religious, let alone Orthodox. Yet many of them see themselves as Jewish because of the Jewish-Orthodox rule that Judaism is passed on only through the mother.’
Even if you do not actively engage with your cultural or religious identity, the outside world sometimes forces you to do so, Palache argues. ‘Other people see you as a Jew, even if you are not consciously involved in your religion at the time. They ask you specifically about your opinion on the war between Hamas and Israel. They still call on you to be Jewish and to be concerned with identity.’
As a Sikh, Dutch-Indian Singh felt the same way. ‘At my high school in Achterhoek, you had ‘the Dutch’ and ‘the foreigners.’ It made me realize that I had a different identity because I didn’t fit in with another community. Singh’s parents were born in the Punjab region and had a traditional Sikh marriage. The Sikhs, a religious group from northern India, follow a monotheistic religion that follows the Holy Book of 10 historic gurus.
Stifling rules
Singh’s parents, who immigrated to the Netherlands, did not follow strict Sikh traditions. Singh himself, made aware by his surroundings of his origins as a Sikh, actually began to live more and more according to Sikh customs during his high school years. ‘Temples (Gurdwaras, ed.) did not exist in Achterhoek but I read passages from the Holy Book every night, did not drink, learned the local Punjabi language, and wore a turban to family gatherings.’
Palache observes that such strict rules can feel stifling to some community members in addition to having the ability to connect. ‘Being required to marry within the group, social control, and other expectations can also make people feel less comfortable in the community in which they grew up.’
For Singh, this began when he started studying Philosophy and Mathematics in Nijmegen and started talking about philosophy with friends. ‘I turned away from my parents’ culture, and became a Marxist, so I thought religion was ‘opium for the people.’ So now he doesn’t really believe. ‘I feel strongly connected to the culture and philosophy, but at most I believe a bit ‘just to be sure’. Like you say a quick prayer in the Christian church. Or like my grandfather who, before every purchase - a new house, a new car - always went to the temple in his village.’
Connection in community
But now that Singh is no longer so critical of Sikhism, he would like to visit the temple again in Amsterdam. But it is difficult to find that connection with the relatively large Sikh community in Amsterdam, Singh explains. ‘I still hardly know anyone here in Amsterdam anyway. And I don’t want to go with my Dutch girlfriend yet. That stems more from my discomfort, not from anything that I necessarily brought with me from home.’
Palache explains that even if you are raised with strict rules or regulations, such as about marriage, it doesn’t always mean that someone minds. ‘For example, I’ve also talked to Muslims who didn’t care so much about the strict rules at home.’
Winckler was not raised religiously either. ‘At most, a little in the tradition of my Protestant ancestors with a mediocre children’s Bible.’ Now, however, Winckler has firmly ensconced himself in the community: He occasionally reads the Bible with a group of interested people and lives at a partially Mennonite compound on Prinsengracht. ‘If I’ve been drinking superficially, I go to the service for an hour. It’s a pleasant escape from everyday life,’ Winckler said. In doing so, he also finds a connection with the church’s pastor with whom he regularly drinks tea in a café.
Neither Singh nor Winckler expects to leave their religious community anytime soon, as Palache has seen people from her research do. Singh recites another prayer centered around the Holy Book of Sikhism after tea. He now sees that the commitment found within Marxism is not much different from Sikhism. ‘They are both pre-eminently ideologies for the community.’
