Comedian Alex Ploeg was pretend student for years: “I didn’t dare face anyone anymore”
Comedian Alex Ploeg (38) pretended to those around him that his studies in philosophy at the UvA were going well, but in reality, after four years he had still not passed his propaedeutic certificate. He dared not talk to anyone about it. In his latest show, he addresses that lonely time. “Asking for help is so much harder than you think.”
It starts small, says Alex Ploeg (38). Parents asking if you passed that subject from the other day. Answering ‘yes’, meaning ‘no’; first lie - nothing wrong - thinking you'll make it next semester. But then the ball slowly starts rolling....
“Then you reach a point where, after four years of “studying”, you still haven’t passed your propaedeutic certificate, without anyone knowing. That you suddenly have to pay back your student loans and sky-high student-ov because they are no longer a gift. That your friends are picking up their degrees, when you thought they too were just chilling out, partying, watching movies. And suddenly the realisation sinks in: If I stop now, then I've only got my high school diploma. Fuck... Then I’ll be thát guy.”
Some 15 years on, Ploeg can talk about it freely, relaxed behind a cup of tea in espresso bar Coffeestar. His time as a so-called pretend student at the UvA is now far enough behind him. He is a comedian and actor, known for the satirical sketch programme Klikbeet and appearing in TV programmes such as Zondag met Lubach, Dit Was Het Nieuws and Last One Laughing.
Yet, looking over his tea like this, towards the Roeterseiland campus, he also thinks: those students, those are my people. “While they probably think: gee, what is that old prick doing here,” Ploeg laughs. “It probably has to do with the fact that I studied for eight years in total,” he grins.
Living in an illusion
Things went wrong with his first education. After he was not accepted at the kleinkunstacademie, it became philosophy at the UvA. “Or philosophy, as they called it then,” says Ploeg smugly. A study where you get a pile of books and have to do a paper once at the end, he says. Little structure, few obligations. “That didn’t work for me at all. About halfway through the year, I found out that I was lagging behind enormously. After that, I told myself I would be fine.” It stuck to saying a lot, doing little.
Although Ploeg knew a long time ago that he would rather become a cabaret artist, he tried to insist to others that his philosophy studies were going well. Preferably, he did not talk about it at all. If the conversation moved in the ‘wrong direction’, he would immediately look for ways to get out of it as nonchalantly as possible. Go to the toilet, quickly broach another subject; his social antennae had gradually become perfectly attuned to it.
But that illusion starts to gnaw at you, Ploeg knows. “I dared to face people less and less, withdrew into isolation and kept it all to myself for years. I thought my life was over, failed, finished. Very lonely, yes.”
The moment of telling
In a way, it is also good to be a big disappointment for once, says Ploeg, looking back on that time. In high school, he could start learning quite late and got away with performing at the very last minute. “But you don't keep that up... And hitting rock bottom is a good place to kick off.”
Eventually, he dared to tell his then girlfriend. Later to his brothers, who then helped him with the accounts, which he had long since dared not open. And at long last, his parents. The people from whom he had concealed it above all and whose money he had actually simply ‘rushed through’ - in his own words - by neglecting his studies for a long time.
When he told everything to his father, a university professor, and mother, they reacted with shock but understanding. “Then they asked: ‘OK, what is your plan now?’ When I said that I wanted to become a cabaret artist, after they knew that I had already been rejected several times for the cabaret academy in the meantime, there was a shift in their minds. Then they thought: okay, he’s really serious about this, then we believe in it too. I found that quite beautiful and moving.”
After his aborted studies in philosophy, which he gave up on after four years, he first completed a nominal degree in communication studies. Because he found it interesting, certainly, but just as much to prove to himself: you see, I can do it!' His master's direction is telling: persuasive communication. In Ploeg's words: learning how to manipulate groups. And what does that come together in, he laughs. ‘Right: comedy.’
Hermit
That dream started small, for a group of students at Crea. But now he performs with his cabaret shows all over the country. Soon, his latest show will start: Unplugged (premiere: 10 December). It will be about how people shut themselves off from politics, the news, climate, et cetera. How they sit, in other words, on their own little island. As a former pretend student, Ploeg can talk about it - I've been down that road - and he will not fail to do so. “Somehow, I think that as a comedian you have to reveal your secrets and make yourself vulnerable. Tell where your doubts are, your insecurities. In the end, that's what benefits others the most.”
Ploeg still tends to avoid and avoid things, he says. Closing himself off from the outside world like ‘a hermit’. “While I am actually doing very well now.” Pretending that such an unpleasant period, in a different form at a different time, could not happen again would therefore be a mistake, Ploeg says. “I would raise the alarm earlier now, though. But admitting that you need help is so much harder than you think. You always learn that you should, but to actually do it yourself.... That’s another story.”
The try-outs of Unplugged are in full swing. From 10 to 14 December, the tour of the Netherlands officially starts with a performance at the Kleine Komedie in Amsterdam. In May, Alex Ploeg will be in Amsterdam again with his new show. For all dates and tickets, please visit: alexploeg.nl
